he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
