Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
