Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
