Someone shit on the floor
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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