This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
