new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
