There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
