hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
