I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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