The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Pooping to opera.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
