I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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