i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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