i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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