if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
