You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My ass is underappreciated
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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