he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
