Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
