Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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