I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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