Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
