Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
