I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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