i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
