I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
