Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
