he shaved USA in his pubs
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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