You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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