Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
