xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
