I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
