Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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