Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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