You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
