remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sext me about skeletons
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
