u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
