when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
