all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
