is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
