so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
