1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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