i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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