do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
