I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
