just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
