So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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