i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
