Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
