You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
