He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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