I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
